The Massachusetts Bathing Law That Never Existed

You've probably seen it on a list of "weird state laws" somewhere on the internet: in Massachusetts, it's supposedly illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath. It sounds absurd enough to be true, right? The kind of quirky Puritan-era regulation that somehow stayed on the books for centuries?

Here's the problem: this law doesn't exist. Never has. There's no statute, no legal code, no dusty colonial ordinance requiring Bay Staters to scrub up before hitting the hay.

The Anatomy of a Legal Urban Legend

This claim is part of a whole genre of internet content: the "dumb laws" list. These compilations promise to reveal bizarre, outdated regulations that are technically still enforceable. They're perfect clickbait—absurd enough to share, specific enough to seem credible.

The Massachusetts bathing law has all the hallmarks of these fabrications. No one ever cites an actual statute number from the Massachusetts General Laws. No legal database contains it. No lawyer has ever defended a client against charges of nocturnal uncleanliness.

Boston's Contradictory Bathing Conspiracy

What makes this myth even more obvious? Boston supposedly has two completely contradictory bathing laws. According to internet lore, it's illegal to bathe in Boston without a doctor's prescription—but it's also illegal NOT to bathe before bed. You literally cannot comply with both.

This contradiction isn't a legislative oversight. It's evidence that someone made these up, and others kept copying them without fact-checking. The absurdity is the point—these "laws" spread precisely because they're unbelievable enough to share.

Why These Myths Persist

Real obsolete laws do exist. Many states have outdated statutes about horses, telegraphs, or Sunday shopping that never got formally repealed. But the bathing law isn't one of them.

These myths persist because they're entertaining. They make us feel superior to our supposedly backwards ancestors. They generate clicks, shares, and ad revenue. And once something appears on enough "weird laws" lists, it takes on a life of its own—each new article citing previous articles in an endless loop of misinformation.

The Real Hygiene Laws

Massachusetts does have actual sanitary codes—regulations about bathing beaches, public facilities, and landlord responsibilities for providing hot water. These are real, boring, and practical. They just don't make for viral content.

So no, you won't get arrested for going to bed with unwashed feet in Massachusetts. The cleanliness police aren't coming. This particular piece of legal folklore can finally be scrubbed from the record.