Why Relationships Born From Cheating Often Fail

The heart wants what it wants - even if what it wants is already taken. Psychologists call it "mate poaching," and it's more common than you might think. But does a relationship born from betrayal ever really work?

The science says: not really. Research comparing poached relationships to those that started between single people found some uncomfortable truths. Couples who got together through poaching rated their relationships lower in satisfaction, commitment, and trust. They also reported higher levels of jealousy.

The Cheater's Curse

Here's the twist that probably won't surprise you: people who successfully poach a partner are more likely to be unfaithful in that new relationship. Both romantic and sexual infidelity rates were higher among those in poached relationships compared to couples who started dating while single.

It's a phenomenon known as "once a cheater, always a cheater" - and the data backs it up. Studies on serial infidelity found that people who cheat in one relationship are three times more likely to cheat in their next relationship compared to those who remained faithful.

Why the Odds Are Stacked Against You

Think about it from a psychological perspective. If someone was willing to betray their previous partner to be with you, what makes you think they won't do the same thing again? That nagging doubt becomes the foundation of your relationship.

• You know they're capable of deception
• They know you're capable of being "the other person"
• Trust is compromised from day one
• Jealousy becomes a constant companion

The relationship starts with a built-in trust deficit that's incredibly difficult to overcome.

Not All Overlap Is Created Equal

Of course, relationships are messy and rarely follow clean timelines. There's a difference between emotionally checking out of a dying relationship before officially ending it, and actively pursuing someone new while maintaining the facade of commitment to your current partner.

But the research is clear: when it comes to relationships that began through deliberate mate poaching, the odds of long-term success are significantly lower. Starting a relationship on a foundation of broken trust makes it exponentially harder to build something lasting.

As the saying goes: if they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you.