Rock Simulator 2014: The Game Where You Do Nothing

In 2014, the gaming world witnessed something truly geological. While other developers were busy crafting elaborate storylines and stunning graphics, one brave soul asked the question nobody was asking: "What if you could be a rock?"

And thus, Rock Simulator 2014 was born.

Blame the Goat

This magnificent monument to minimalism exists because of Goat Simulator. Coffee Stain Studios' absurdist 2014 hit let players rampage through towns as a physics-defying goat, licking things and causing mayhem. It was stupid. It was buggy. It sold millions of copies.

Suddenly, "simulator" games became a gold rush for ironic gaming experiences. Surgeons, bread, grass – nothing was safe from simulation. But Rock Simulator took the concept to its logical extreme: what's the most boring thing we could possibly simulate?

The Gameplay (If You Can Call It That)

Here's what you do in Rock Simulator 2014:

• Exist as a rock
• Look at the environment around you
• Continue existing as a rock
• Contemplate your rocky existence

That's it. That's the game. You're a rock in a field. You don't move. You don't have objectives. You just are. It's like meditation, except you paid money for it.

The developer generously included multiple rock varieties to choose from, because apparently even in the rock simulation community, representation matters. Want to be a mossy boulder? Go for it. Prefer a sleek gray stone? Live your truth.

People Actually Bought This

Despite – or perhaps because of – its aggressive pointlessness, Rock Simulator found an audience. Steam reviews ranged from genuine appreciation of its absurdist humor to existential crises triggered by staring at a virtual rock for too long.

Some players reported using it as a screensaver. Others claimed it helped them relax. A few insisted it was a profound statement about the futility of achievement-driven gaming. Most just wanted to be in on the joke.

The Legacy of Doing Nothing

Rock Simulator represents something beautiful about gaming culture: our willingness to embrace the completely ridiculous. It spawned Rock Simulator 2 (which controversially let you roll around), and inspired other minimalist masterpieces.

In a world of sprawling open-world games demanding hundreds of hours, there's something refreshing about a game that asks nothing of you. No grinding. No loot boxes. No skill trees. Just rock.

The next time someone tells you video games are too complicated, remember: there's always Rock Simulator, patiently waiting in its field, doing absolutely nothing. Forever.