The Green Vine Snake Looks Permanently Disappointed in You

There's a snake in South and Southeast Asia that looks like it just watched you make a terrible life decision and is trying very hard not to say anything.

The green vine snake (Ahaetulla nasuta) has a face that the internet has collectively decided looks deeply, profoundly disappointed. Its long, pointed snout and horizontal, keyhole-shaped pupils combine to create an expression that sits somewhere between a disapproving librarian and a parent who just found out you failed your driving test.

Why Does It Look Like That?

The vine snake's unusual appearance isn't a cosmic joke — it's highly functional engineering. Those horizontal pupils give the snake binocular vision, meaning it can judge distances with remarkable accuracy. Unlike most snakes that rely on movement to spot prey, the vine snake can see forward with both eyes simultaneously, like a tiny, green, extremely judgmental predator.

Its long, pointed snout serves a similar purpose. The narrow head shape reduces the blind spot between the eyes, giving the snake an uninterrupted forward field of vision. It needs this precision because it hunts by staying perfectly still among branches, disguised as a vine, then striking at lizards and frogs with surgical accuracy.

The "Eye Plucker"

The snake's scientific genus name, Ahaetulla, comes from the Sinhala language of Sri Lanka and translates to "eye plucker" — which is significantly less adorable than its face might suggest.

The name was first recorded by Portuguese traveller João Ribeiro in 1685, and reflects a centuries-old Sri Lankan folk belief that the snake deliberately targets the eyes. In reality, the snake lives in trees at head height, so any defensive strikes when it's handled naturally come at face level. It's not going for your eyes specifically — you're just at the wrong height.

The Judgmental Shoelace

Online, the green vine snake has earned nicknames like "the judgmental shoelace" — a reference to its absurdly thin body (up to 2 metres long but barely thicker than a finger) combined with that withering stare.

The snake is mildly venomous but not dangerous to humans — there are zero recorded fatalities. Its rear-fanged venom is designed for small prey like geckos and tree frogs. If bitten, you might experience mild swelling that resolves in a few days — but the real damage is the emotional wound from knowing a snake that thin just looked at you with that much disdain.