Funny Facts

Virginia inmate Robert Lee Brock sued himself for $5 million. His argument: getting drunk violated his own civil rights and caused him to commit crimes. Since he couldn't work in prison, he asked the state to pay on his behalf. The judge called his legal theory "innovative" then ruled it "totally ludicrous."

Since 1966, the Swedish city of Gavle has built a giant straw Christmas goat in the town square. Arsonists have burned it down 43 out of 60 years. The city tried guards, CCTV, fences, and fireproofing. In 2005, attackers dressed as Santa and a Gingerbread Man shot it with flaming arrows. In 1976, an American tourist burned it down and told police he thought it was a tradition.

At his peak, T-Pain had $40 million in the bank. He bought a $1.7 million Bugatti. He let his manager invest in real estate properties that were, in his words, "complete dumps." Within a few years, he was so broke he had to borrow money to buy his children Burger King.

In 1965, French lawyer André-François Raffray agreed to pay 90-year-old Jeanne Calment a monthly fee for her apartment in Arles — he'd get it when she died. Calment lived to 122 years and 164 days, becoming the oldest verified person in history. Raffray died in 1995 at age 77, having paid more than double the apartment's value. His widow was legally required to keep paying until Calment finally died in 1997.

A dolphin named Kelly at a research center was trained to trade litter for fish. She started hiding paper under a rock, tearing off small pieces, and trading each scrap separately for maximum fish. Then she saved a whole fish, used it to lure a seagull into the pool, caught the gull, and traded that for even more fish. She taught her calf the system. Her calf taught other calves. The researchers realized they were the ones being trained.

A dog named Eclipse was at a Seattle bus stop with her owner. He stopped to finish a cigarette. The bus came. She got on without him. She rode 3 stops, got off at the dog park, and waited for him to catch up. Then she did it again. Every day. For 7 years. She had her own transit card on her collar.

In 1970, a dead whale washed up on an Oregon beach. Officials decided to dispose of it with half a ton of dynamite. A WWII explosives veteran warned them it was way too much. They ignored him. The explosion launched car-sized chunks of blubber 800 feet. One crushed a brand new Oldsmobile in the parking lot. The owner had just bought it from a dealership running a "Whale of a Deal" promotion.

In 2000, the New York Mets owed Bobby Bonilla $5.9 million. Instead of paying, they deferred it: $1.19 million per year from 2011 to 2035. The owner planned to invest the savings with his friend Bernie Madoff. Madoff turned out to be running the largest Ponzi scheme in history. The Mets are now paying Bonilla $29.8 million for a career that ended in 1999.

In 1962, The Beatles drove ten hours through a snowstorm to audition for Decca Records. Decca rejected them. "Guitar groups are on the way out." They signed a local band instead to save on travel expenses. The Beatles went on to sell 600 million albums.

During the Cold War, the CIA spent $20 million and five years on Project Acoustic Kitty. They surgically implanted a microphone in a cat's ear, a transmitter in its skull, and an antenna in its tail. The plan was to eavesdrop on Soviet diplomats. On its very first mission, the cat was released near the Soviet embassy and was immediately hit by a taxi. The CIA concluded the technique was impractical.

Six robbers attacked a jewelry store in Northampton, England, with sledgehammers. Ann Timson, 71, had severe arthritis. She'd bandaged her legs that morning just to get to dance class. She charged all six swinging her handbag and knocked one off his motorbike. Five were caught and sentenced to 26 years combined. Six men brought sledgehammers. She brought a purse.

Burt Reynolds was the #1 box office star in the world for five straight years. He turned down Han Solo. He turned down James Bond. He turned down Pretty Woman. He said no to One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. He invested his fortune in a restaurant chain called Po' Folks. He filed for bankruptcy in 1996 and died in 2018 worth roughly $3 million.

The US military spent $2.7 billion developing JLENS, a giant radar blimp tethered over Maryland to detect cruise missiles. On its second day of active duty, it broke free of its cable, dragged 6,700 feet of tether across Pennsylvania, knocked out power to 30,000 people, and was shot down by state police in a field. The program was quietly shelved.

In 1998, the town of Rabbit Hash, Kentucky, population 315, elected a dog named Goofy as mayor as a fundraiser joke. It worked so well they kept doing it. Every mayor since has been a dog. They have collectively raised over $100,000 for the town. No human has run for mayor since 1998.

In 1814, a giant vat of beer ruptured at a London brewery, unleashing 135,000 gallons of porter through the streets. It demolished two homes, collapsed a pub wall, and killed eight people. The brewery went to court. The jury ruled it an Act of God. Nobody paid a penny.

When Forrest Gump went over budget, Tom Hanks gave up his entire $7 million salary in exchange for first-dollar backend points. The studio thought they were saving money. The film grossed $680 million. Hanks took home over $70 million. He even paid for the running-across-America sequence out of pocket after the studio refused to fund it.

Michael Jordan never wanted to sign with Nike. He wore Adidas. He begged Adidas to sign him. They told him: "We can not make a shoe work." Nike offered $2.5 million and a signature shoe. Jordan still did not want to go. His mother forced him onto the plane. Jordan Brand now generates $7 billion a year.

Roy Pearson, an administrative law judge in Washington D.C., sued a family-owned dry cleaner for $54 million over a lost pair of pants. He argued their "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign was a legally binding unlimited warranty. He cried on the stand. He lost the case. Then he lost his judgeship. Then he got suspended from practicing law.

A woman in New York sold her house for $650,000 after spending years telling magazines it was haunted by poltergeists. She forgot to mention the ghosts to the buyer. He sued. A New York court ruled: "As a matter of law, the house is haunted." Law schools teach it as the Ghostbusters Ruling.

Robert Downey Jr. credits a disgusting Burger King burger with saving his life. In 2003, driving along the Pacific Coast Highway with drugs in his car, he stopped for a burger. It was so bad he told Empire magazine he thought "something really bad was going to happen." He drove to the ocean and threw every drug he had into the water.

Howard Schultz offered Shaq a Starbucks franchise deal in the late 1990s. Shaq told him: "Black people don't drink coffee, sir. I don't think it's gonna work." Magic Johnson took the deal instead, opened 105 Starbucks in underserved communities, and sold his stake for an estimated $100 million. Shaq calls it his biggest mistake.

Will Smith turned down the role of Neo in The Matrix because the Wachowskis' pitch confused him. He chose Wild Wild West instead. The Matrix launched a $1.7 billion franchise. Wild Wild West won five Razzie Awards including Worst Picture. Smith later admitted: "I probably would've messed it up."

Alec Guinness thought so little of Star Wars that he called it "fairy-tale rubbish" and complained "none of the dialogue makes my character clear or even bearable." He negotiated 2.25% of the gross revenue. His roughly 20 minutes of screen time in the original film earned him an estimated $95 million over his lifetime. His estate is believed to still collect royalties.

In 1996, Denise Rossi won $1.3 million in the California lottery. Eleven days later, she filed for divorce from her husband of 25 years to hide the money. Three years later, he found out by accident. A judge ruled she committed fraud and gave him 100% of the winnings. If she had just been honest, she would have kept at least half.