Funny Facts

During the Cold War, the CIA spent $20 million and five years on Project Acoustic Kitty. They surgically implanted a microphone in a cat's ear, a transmitter in its skull, and an antenna in its tail. The plan was to eavesdrop on Soviet diplomats. On its very first mission, the cat was released near the Soviet embassy and was immediately hit by a taxi. The CIA concluded the technique was impractical.

Six robbers attacked a jewelry store in Northampton, England, with sledgehammers. Ann Timson, 71, had severe arthritis. She'd bandaged her legs that morning just to get to dance class. She charged all six swinging her handbag and knocked one off his motorbike. Five were caught and sentenced to 26 years combined. Six men brought sledgehammers. She brought a purse.

In 1986, Cleveland released 1.5 million balloons to set a world record. A storm pushed them back down. They clogged Lake Erie, shut down a Coast Guard search for two missing boaters who drowned, caused a horse stampede, and triggered so many 911 calls about UFOs that the system crashed. The city was sued for years. The record was never officially recognised.

The US military spent $2.7 billion developing JLENS, a giant radar blimp tethered over Maryland to detect cruise missiles. On its second day of active duty, it broke free of its cable, dragged 6,700 feet of tether across Pennsylvania, knocked out power to 30,000 people, and was shot down by state police in a field. The program was quietly shelved.

In 2016, a beech marten jumped into a transformer at CERN at 5:30 in the morning and caused a short circuit that shut down the Large Hadron Collider. The most expensive scientific instrument ever built, worth $13.25 billion, was taken offline by a small mammal. CERN confirmed the animal did not survive.

Quaker Oats bought Snapple for $1.7 billion in 1994. They had no idea how to run it. Within 27 months they sold it for $300 million and took a $1.4 billion loss. The acquisition lasted less time than most car loans.

In 1814, a giant vat of beer ruptured at a London brewery, unleashing 135,000 gallons of porter through the streets. It demolished two homes, collapsed a pub wall, and killed eight people. The brewery went to court. The jury ruled it an Act of God. Nobody paid a penny.

In 1989, the Soviet Union traded Pepsi 17 submarines, a cruiser, a frigate, and a destroyer in exchange for Pepsi products. For a brief moment, PepsiCo had the 6th largest submarine fleet in the world. Pepsi's CEO told the National Security Advisor: "We're disarming the Soviet Union faster than you are."

In 1998, the town of Rabbit Hash, Kentucky, population 315, elected a dog named Goofy as mayor as a fundraiser joke. It worked so well they kept doing it. Every mayor since has been a dog. They have collectively raised over $100,000 for the town. No human has run for mayor since 1998.

In 2009, thieves arrived by helicopter on a cash depot roof in Stockholm. They had placed a fake bomb at the police helicopter hangar. Scattered caltrops on every access road. Stole $5.3 million and escaped clean. Police caught them months later through DNA on a piece of duct tape someone had licked.

Burt Reynolds was the #1 box office star in the world for five straight years. He turned down Han Solo. He turned down James Bond. He turned down Pretty Woman. He said no to One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. He invested his fortune in a restaurant chain called Po' Folks. He filed for bankruptcy in 1996 and died in 2018 worth roughly $3 million.

Michael Jordan never wanted to sign with Nike. He wore Adidas. He begged Adidas to sign him. They told him: "We can not make a shoe work." Nike offered $2.5 million and a signature shoe. Jordan still did not want to go. His mother forced him onto the plane. Jordan Brand now generates $7 billion a year.

When Forrest Gump went over budget, Tom Hanks gave up his entire $7 million salary in exchange for first-dollar backend points. The studio thought they were saving money. The film grossed $680 million. Hanks took home over $70 million. He even paid for the running-across-America sequence out of pocket after the studio refused to fund it.

Roy Pearson, an administrative law judge in Washington D.C., sued a family-owned dry cleaner for $54 million over a lost pair of pants. He argued their "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign was a legally binding unlimited warranty. He cried on the stand. He lost the case. Then he lost his judgeship. Then he got suspended from practicing law.

A woman in New York sold her house for $650,000 after spending years telling magazines it was haunted by poltergeists. She forgot to mention the ghosts to the buyer. He sued. A New York court ruled: "As a matter of law, the house is haunted." Law schools teach it as the Ghostbusters Ruling.

Robert Downey Jr. credits a disgusting Burger King burger with saving his life. In 2003, driving along the Pacific Coast Highway with drugs in his car, he stopped for a burger. It was so bad he told Empire magazine he thought "something really bad was going to happen." He drove to the ocean and threw every drug he had into the water.

Howard Schultz offered Shaq a Starbucks franchise deal in the late 1990s. Shaq told him: "Black people don't drink coffee, sir. I don't think it's gonna work." Magic Johnson took the deal instead, opened 105 Starbucks in underserved communities, and sold his stake for an estimated $100 million. Shaq calls it his biggest mistake.

Will Smith turned down the role of Neo in The Matrix because the Wachowskis' pitch confused him. He chose Wild Wild West instead. The Matrix launched a $1.7 billion franchise. Wild Wild West won five Razzie Awards including Worst Picture. Smith later admitted: "I probably would've messed it up."

Alec Guinness thought so little of Star Wars that he called it "fairy-tale rubbish" and complained "none of the dialogue makes my character clear or even bearable." He negotiated 2.25% of the gross revenue. His roughly 20 minutes of screen time in the original film earned him an estimated $95 million over his lifetime. His estate is believed to still collect royalties.

In 1996, Denise Rossi won $1.3 million in the California lottery. Eleven days later, she filed for divorce from her husband of 25 years to hide the money. Three years later, he found out by accident. A judge ruled she committed fraud and gave him 100% of the winnings. If she had just been honest, she would have kept at least half.

In 2009, Brian Acton applied to work at Facebook and was rejected. He also applied to Twitter and was turned down. He tweeted about both rejections. Then he co-founded WhatsApp with Jan Koum. In 2014, Facebook bought WhatsApp for approximately $19 billion — making Acton a billionaire and turning his rejection into one of the most expensive hiring mistakes in corporate history.

Sean Connery turned down $450 million. He was offered Gandalf in Lord of the Rings — $10 million plus 15% of box office for all three films. Said no because he "didn't understand the material." The trilogy grossed $3 billion. He never understood it.

Celine Dion hated "My Heart Will Go On" so much she almost refused to record it. She did one throwaway demo just to get her husband to stop asking. That single take sold 18 million copies and won an Oscar. Rolling Stone later voted it the 4th most annoying song ever made.

Jack Nicholson turned down $10 million to play the Joker. Took $6 million instead — plus a cut of every Batman toy ever sold. The studio thought they'd saved money. Batman merchandise hit $1 billion. Nicholson walked away with $90 million. For playing a clown.